catspaw49 How do you know when an elephant is having a period? When you wake up in the morning and find a quarter on your dresser and your mattress is missing.

A lady has a parrot she purchased from an adopt-a-pet program. She puts the parrot on a beautiful perch in her bedroom. when she starts to take her top off, the parrot straightens up. When she removes her bra, the parrot says: "Nice boobs!" She grabs the parrot, takes him downstairs, and puts him in the freezer for a couple of minutes. She then takes him back upstairs and says: "Now, we'll have no more of that kind of talk." She then unzips her skirt, and the parrot straightens up. When she removes her panties, the parrot says: "Nice ass!" She grabs the parrot, heads downstairs, and puts him back in the freezer for ten minutes. When she opens the door to the freezer, the parrot is covered in frost and shivering. She says: "Now do you have anything to say for yourself?" He says: "Yeah, what did this turkey do? Ask you for a blow job?"