1. I think sex is a real drag.
2. I have seduced a thousand virgins.
3. I once sang "Ten Green Bottles" at an (unsuccessful) audition for "La Scala".
4. I was once fined twenty-five pounds for stealing Prince Charles's bicycle.
5. I rip flesh from animals with my bare hands.
6. I produced the standard translation of "Eskimo Nell" into Latin.
7. I once won second prize in a poodle throwing contest.
8. I love chihuahaus.
9. I have a parrot who sings,"The Good Ship Venus" when my mother in law comes to visit.
10.I have no prejudices except for a misanthropic disdain for all foreigners.