That's a situation that many, if not most of us have experienced. First of all...things will NEVER be "how they used to be". Life moves on and things change. Nothing is like it used to be.

When I have experienced the kind of changes you're speaking of in a romance, it always did eventually lead to parting...although NOT necessarily on bad terms. There's always a degree of hurt, can't pretend there isn't, but you can part without hatred and blame...if you're willing to.

If the other person isn't willing to, then that's another matter altogether.

People make the mistake of thinking they "own" their lover (even if they don't admit it, that's how they feel inside). That's a BIG mistake, and it leads to some nasty situations.

When you've been brought up (as I was) to believe that romance is the absolute centrepiece of life...and the KEY to happiness...then you will probably feel somewhat desperate without it and VERY desperate at the prospect of losing it.

But if mutual giving is not there, it's already been lost.

And it is NOT the centrepiece of life. Healthy self-esteem, and the ability to LOVE in many ways both self and others (and life) is the centrepiece of life.

As long as you feel more unhappy without her than with her, you will probably try to hang on. When you hit the break-even point you will have a rough time knowing what to do. When you pass that point into feeling worse with her than without her, you'll leave...once you get past the mental block of how you think things "should" be...and accept how they actually ARE.

On the other hand, I may be wrong in your case...maybe you two are meant to be together. Maybe you're just going through a rouch spot.

Take a good look at it, and decide for yourself. But being the one who always takes the blame is not healthy, it's not fair, and it cannot work forever.

- LH