The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #53661   Message #827312
Posted By: Bee-dubya-ell
15-Nov-02 - 05:53 PM
Thread Name: BS: Possible Hull/Terrorism Link Exposed!
Subject: BS: Possible Hull/Terrorism Link Exposed!
Reprinted from Wankers News Service © 2002:

Intelligence authorities have recently discovered a possible link between the purported city of "Hull" on the eastern coast of Great Britain and terrorist activities. According to reports, a cell of approximately fifty possible terror suspects supposedly from "Hull" have been using an Internet website known as "The Mudcat Cafe" as a means of exchanging coded information. Hundreds of other Internet users who frequent the same website (often referring to themselves as "Mudcatters") have apparently been oblivious to the alleged criminal activity occurring in their midst.

Authorities cite the following as evidence of their accusations:

1) The city of "Hull" does not exist. The unsuspecting "Mudcatters" of the aforementioned website have been told that the reason that no city by the name of "Hull" appears on maps of Great Britain is because its complete name is "Kingston Upon Hull". However, no less an authority than the reliable Internet map service multimap.com indicates that the name of the city upon the Humber River on the east coast of Great Britain is simply "Kingston Upon". There is no mention of the word "Hull". This has led authorities to speculate that "Hull" is simply a code-word for the particular terrorist sect which has infiltrated the Mudcat Cafe.

2) Communications between various "Mudcatters" from "Hull" are, more often than not, entirely indecipherable to anyone not associated with the alleged terrorist cell. Authorities allege that such communications, often referred to as "drivel", are in fact, coded messages. They further speculate that the terrorists from "Hull" have been able to get away with sending such messages for as long as they have because a typical message is so banal that most other "Mudcatters" simply ignore it.

3) The ringleader of the terrorist cell is thought to be one "John From Hull". "John" is notorious for his eccentric typing style and late-night/early-morning posts. "John" often claims that his eccentric communications are the result of having had too many "bears". However, authorities claim that "John"'s typing is merely another means of sending coded messages to other cell members. They particularly cite continuing occurrences of extraneous examples of the numeral "9" in his postings which may be a coded means of indicating the movements and whereabouts of other cell members.

4) Authorities further allege that locations and dates of cell organizational and planning meetings have been broadcast under the guise of "gigs" for a nonexistent band known as "Punch the Horse". According to a reliable source, "The 'Punch the Horse at so-and-so' threads are invariably started by this 'John From Hull' guy. He has even been so bold as to openly cancel planned meetings by starting another thread called 'Punch the Horse Not at so-and-so'. We believe that this 'Punch the Horse' is a code-word for 'John''s four or five immediate deputies. We also believe that they are very well funded, even having access to a Leer Jet. They have reportedly petitioned the British aviation authority to have the plane approved for transatlantic flight, but authorities have been able to delay the process through the usual bureaucratic channels."

5) Electronic intelligence-gathering experts have detected a high number of instances of use of the word "Jacuzzi" originating from the Mudcat Cafe's "Mudchat" chatroom. The word "Jacuzzi" is well-known in terrorist circles as a code-word for a planned clandestine meeting with another operative for the specific purpose of planning or building bombs or other explosive devices. "Jacuzzi" references are often made in conjunction with references to champagne or other wines which would indicate possible stockpiling of empty wine bottles for the purpose of making Molotov cocktails. The individual responsible for the "Jacuzzi" references is believed to be one "Oakley" who is also supposedly a member of "Punch the Horse".