Both of us have our faults (obviously) but right now the problem (to me) is that she won't see that even 1% of the fault is hers. I spent my entire life 'doing wrong' and 'saying sorry' But I still don't want to lose her."

In my experience, not many times does a relationship shudder, right itself, and take a different path. (Part of the problem, no doubt, is the baggage that was created on the earlier path.) So, in all likelihood, the path you are on now is the path on which you two will remain.

As said above, are you willing to continue on as you are now? Put in the pro column that no relationship will ever be totally satisfying so maybe you perceive this relationship as being of sufficient satisfaction. There's an old country song that says something like 'With you I'm happy half the time, that's better than not being happy at all.'