Denial is a terrible thing, Mario...

Bobert - Well, I am thinking of getting a life-size Elvis statue. You can get them around here, usually depicting "the King" in his early Las Vegas period, while he was still reasonably trim. Sideburns down to his belt, man! These statues are normally painted in garish colors that'll knock your socks off at 30 feet or so. DON'T look at 'em first thing in the morning after a serious bender! I think it may be possible to get a gilded one also. Decisions, decisions...

I'll let ya know how it goes. A William Shatner statue would be even better, but they are hard to find.

- LH