The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #54172   Message #837451
Posted By: CraigS
29-Nov-02 - 07:10 PM
Thread Name: BS: bullying advice
Subject: RE: BS: bullying advice
I was bullied at school, and found, like Ireland's son, that giving the bullies a sorting-out on an individual basis was not the answer. The real problem is peer pressure on the bullies. They feel a need to maintain their status in their society.
I had a girlfriend who, as an adolescent, bullied other children, stole, and played truant. An educational psychologist decided she was too clever for the school she was in, and had her transferred to the local grammar school. Her behavior improved, she got good grades, went to college, qualified as a therapist, and is now working as an area head in the NHS.
A boy at my school had a reputation as a "hard man", which eventually led to him being expelled (although now that I am older I realise that it had something to do with the establishment, ie. don't hit someone because he is annoying you if his mother is a magistrate). He found that at his new school the pressure was off - he had no reputation to live up to - and he did well, becoming Head Boy.
Cat's answer is the right one in the short term - if I had moved schools, I know I would have been better off. It will take too long for the school and teachers to acknowledge their own shortcomings and lack of understanding - even a few weeks are a long time to the young. But the point to convey is that if the school does nothing to split up the group of bullies, after Ireland's son has gone they will be driven by their internal pressures to find another victim and start over. The bullies are the ones who need relocation, and, from the examples I know of, should also benefit.