The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #54172   Message #837608
Posted By: denise:^)
30-Nov-02 - 02:17 AM
Thread Name: BS: bullying advice
Subject: RE: BS: bullying advice
When I was in high school, I several classes with bullies in them.

I had an unusually large vocabulary, and was fairly sharp-tongued; it was easy for me to verbally "run over" any of them--so I wasn't teased in class...
I would never pick a fight, but was not above knocking someone over with my two-ton American History book, if they came after me physically, so, after one shove, they learned their lesson...

BUT, I had one class with a group of about 4 really nasty bullies (girls!) in it. They really didn't bother me much, but they were quite unkind to many in the class--and to the teacher!

When report card time came 'round, I found a "5" for my citizenship spot in this class! I couldn't understand it at all--I had never done anything to deserve a lowered grade. (A "5" in citizenship was a failing grade; it was as low as you could go.) I went to see the teacher, and see if a mistake had been made.

She argued with me for a few minutes, but was completely unable to give even one example of any behavior of mine that merited ANY lowering of my citizenship grade. I told her she'd have to change it, or defend herself to the principal, which would be my next stop. She broke down in tears and admitted that the "bullies" were threatening to cut her tires, put sugar in her gas tank, etc., if they didn't pass this class, so she'd struck out at me! She chose the person she figured wouldn't fight back (what was she thinking?!), and she actually said to me, "They have been so horrible, I hate to come in here third period...They can't treat me this way...SOMEONE'S gotta pay for this!" I heartily assured her that it would NOT be me, and she filled out a grade correction form...

Ireland, could your son's teacher be AFRAID of the bullies? Trying to 'kiss up' to them by joining in the victimization of your son? Every adult in an authority position does not necessarily DESERVE to be an adult in an authority position! There *are* teachers, just like parents, who are afraid to discipline children, because then they won't "like" them. There *are* adults who do things just to earn the approval of children!

I'm not just one of those people, either, who jumps on teachers, and blames them for everything. I happen to be a teacher, myself, now--for nearly 20 years.

It might be worth checking out.