The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #54172   Message #837899
Posted By: Ireland
30-Nov-02 - 05:13 PM
Thread Name: BS: bullying advice
Subject: RE: BS: bullying advice
I know what you meant Kat,but if someone is easy going or is dressed different or carries themselves in a certain way it really bugs me that we advocate the innocent to change.

Sometimes my son appears as if he has no brain taking things easy etc, big mistake, he is the first with the answers in maths no calculator or paper in his head, he looks as if he zones out but the old brain is working. If that is one reason for the bullies to home in on him I will not advocate that he changes,but I did in the past and he slipped back a bit in maths. Because I the teacher and the bullies made him change he suffered.

The link about the bully on line you and Helen mentioned has helped me understand some things,so I very grateful for that help please don't think I was being confrontational or disrespectful if I was I did not intend to be.

I have taken the advice given and fortunately my sons do talk it was the absence of that,I mean I thought he was telling me everything, he could handle the boys but not the girl bullies and was worried I would scold him for letting girls do that, that raised my anger.

This paragraph from the Bully on line site really sums most of the problem up:
Bullying is the general term applied to a pattern of behaviour whereby one person with a lot of internal anger and consequent aggression and lacking interpersonal skills chooses to displace their aggression onto another person, chosen for their vulnerability with respect to the bully, using tactics of constant criticism, nit-picking, exclusion, isolation, teasing etc with verbal, psychological and (especially with children) physical violence. When called to account, the bullying child will typically exhibit the denial - counterattack - feigning victimhood response to evade accountability, often with success.

I am amazed that given such literature on bullying and its common arena School, that teachers do not take the above into consideration.The above will be part of my argument with the school.

Thanks for all the help it is appreciated.