A POWER OF GOOD

I don't know who you are, sir, or where you're from,
But you've done me a power of good.
On the road to the (location), my knees gave way
And it done me a power of harm.
Now just to help me up again and on my way I recited the 93rd psalm (which goes)

CHORUS: I don't know who you are, sir, or where you're from,
But you've done me a power of good.
I don't know who you are sir, or where you're from,
But you've done me a power of good.

What happened to the crispy bacon we had before the war?
Grandma's got distemper. She's fallen through the floor.
Don't use a knife and fork, sir, if you don't know what they're for,
And don't grow rhubarb in your boots; it is against the law.

That's a nasty cough you've got, sir. That's a nasty cough you've got.
We'll have to put you in an iron bed, cos if we don't, you'll soon be dead.
Then we'll have to buy some lilies, and that could cost a lot,
So get some Vick and rub it in quick, that's a nasty cough you've got.

It's a right old kettle of fish, sir. It's a right old kettle of fish.
Ma's gone off in a big black hearse. Pa's in bed with the district nurse.
There's a nasty smell on the landing. Cor blimey, how I wish
It's a right old kettle, it's a right old kettle, it's a right old kettle of fish.

It was early last September, as near as I remember,
When I was walking home in drunken pride.
No one was I disturbing, as I sat down at the kerbing
And a little pig came down and sat beside.
We sang, "Never mind the weather, just as long as we're together"
Till a lady passing by was heard to say,
"You can tell a man who boozes by the company he chooses,"
And the pig got up and slowly walked away. (Cor blimey!)

Outside the church one Sunday morn, the vicar said for fun,
"I bet I've had more women than you," and the curate said, "You're on.
We'll sit by the church as the church comes out and this shall be the sign:
I'll ring-a-ding-ding for the girls I've had. (I'll ring-a-ding-dong for mine.)
Well, ring-a-ding-ding. (Ring-a-ding-dong.)
There were more ring-a-ding-dings than ring-a-ding-dongs,
Till a pretty little miss came by and the curate went ding-dong.
"Oh, I say," said the vicar. "There's a mistake there.
That's my wife, I do declare."
"I don't give a bugger, sir. I've been there." Ring-a-ding-dong, ding-dong!

3 or 4 of us regularly sing this crowd pleaser in the pubs we visit on morris outings.