Good grief, Nathan. You are hilarious. You're getting close on me being either meek or bold and young or old, but I'm not a Ding Dong! Really, I'm not.
Well, it's pretty cold outside here, but there's no snow. I've never lived anywhere where it snowed before, and now I move here, fully expecting snow, but there's no snow. Egad. Will I never get to live with snow? I was so excited about it, too.
Anyway, your gift will probably be mailed tomorrow. Santa is a procrastinator. It's not entirely my fault, though. Hezekiah's wife insisted that he had to stay home to recover from his cold, leaving the already-overworked Ananias to do all the work, thus losing several days' progress. The important thing is that your present will arrive before Christmas. Here's another lyrical clue for you:

Ding dong merrily on high,
The Christmas bells are ringing
Ding dong verily the sky
Is riv'n with angel singing:
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!
Gloria, hosanna in excelsis!

--Santa Claus (who should be writing a paper right now....)