"S-h-i-t-e" wails the barkeep, "These godamme townies - Thermostat - the only thermostat we got is how fast you can chop them logs and stuff 'em into the boiler !"

Having managed to restore her dignity (and volumous draws) the woman eyes the old packet rat - "Why didn't you ask earlier, honey" she drawls "It's the first time I've managed to get these bloomers back on for three days an I sure ain't taking 'em off now till they need changin' an'that won't be fer at least a week". She picks up the bag and drags out a dead cat - "Here's sometin fer the stewpot" she shouts an chucks it to the barkeep who commences to skin it. The old man in the corner is heard to say "Why didn't I think of that - I've been trying to get shot of it ever since I left Harlow".

The door opens and in oozes Kate the belle of the bar. She suddenly notices the old packet rat. "Jeezus Ahab" she says "they told me you'd been wrecked - and now that I see you - I can see you still are".