No ice! That bloody stuff sank the Titanic!
Time for a monologue:-
Twas a cold winters night on a Liverpool quayside
In the years before the Great War
The world was in shock at the loss of Titanic
So proud had they been, days before.
Relatives gathered for news of their loved ones
To read through the list of the dead
When into the throng came a sad eyed old polar bear
And to the clerk at the counter he said......

(altogether now)