Hi Shambles,

I'm really unclear about the points you are trying to make. If I understand you correctly, you are having trouble with the term or concept of a "gay community". You see this as inclusively separate entity from mainstream society, and you are concerned that by perpetuating this separatist community, the acceptance of gay people will be a longer time coming than had there not been a gay community at all. Is this an accurate summary of your view? Is this a fair re-statement of your feelings?

I guess I would want to hear what your understanding of the "gay community" is.

To me, when people with common interests meet and talk or have potlucks or parties it seems like a very natural thing. Historically, gay people have had to meet secretly. Now, gay folk are more "out of the closet". I get together with other gay moms and talk about struggles particular to us as lesbian mothers. I get a lot of support and validation. See, everywhere else in life I am told and shown that there is something wrong with me. Together, we can effect change. We *are* effecting change.

I am a part of the gay community. I am also a part of the local folk music community. Professionally, I am also a part of the educational community. And of the local Jewish community. I am also part of humankind! To see me as *only* gay is not to see me as a whole person. But I am part of the gay community, also. You are probably also a part of many groups, clubs, and organizations.

You made statements about it being time to move on. You stated that without earlier demonstrations people would still be living in fear. And you think it's time to move on. Several people then mentioned the fact that hate crimes abound, and there is still cause for gay people to live in fear. In response to this, you complained that you "have had to endure all of the well-rehearsed, conditioned responses". Do you think that hate crimes are a figment of our collective imaginations? Do you think that it is in some manual we get when we sign on that instructs us to respond this way? What are your feelings on hate crimes?

I think there's something about this issue that personally threatens you in someway. I'm not calling you the "resident homophobe". I'm reading your comments and I question why you are unsupportive of gay people gathering together. I don't understand why you are uncomfortable with gay people supporting each other.

You accuse a vague someone of "attracting young people to the gay community" when they would be perfectly welcome in a larger community. Are you saying that gay youth would be better supported in the world at large than within the gay community, or are you saying there is a recruitment program? Should I be trying to collect enough enrollees to get me a toaster oven? I question your use of the word "attract". Groups like PFLAG offer education and support. There are political groups trying to change legislation for equity. There are singers like Mick who are trying to raise consciousness. Do you frown on all of these activities? This is the work of the gay community.

To answer your question, I would much prefer to dance with and hold hands with my sweetheart anywhere I choose rather than only in our home. The truth of the matter is, we would risk bringing violent repercussion upon ourselves if we did. The reason for that is not because I participate in the gay community, but because there are scared and hateful people out there. The attitudes and actions of those people is the problem.

Rose