Thank you all for sharing; I wasn't very sure about this when I posted it.
We cut out a lot of work related stress this past year when we moved to Colorado and bought our own house, thus moving out of our daughter's.
What really spooked me down here was my two other sisters, the "twins" (not bet!) wreaked havoc in their own lives this summer, spending all of their money (Over $10,000!) trying to decide where to live, without having any jobs, etc. It just about drove us all nuts and there was a lot more to it than I am telling. Now, they are living not two minutes from my house, one with a job, the other with a small retirement. It was the spillover stress from their situation which was really getting to me. I am still very much on guard against it.
One thing I've done is let them know Mondays are critical for me to be left alone to get my week off to a good start. I sent them a letter this summer which set some boundaries, also. And, since I work at home, I've now got a sign I hang on my door. Harking back to Victorian times when a "lady" didn't necessarily see just anyone who came calling, it says:
If you are reading this I am in the office working on the Great American Novel or, taking a nap, whichever comes first, and, am not receiving visitors, right now. Thanks!
I've also been more disciplined about not answering the phone when I am working or resting; that's been a tough one for me.
BEFORE I could do any of that, though, I had to learn to say "NO" to taking on too many things in 3D life when I really needed to be taking care of myself. It took some time, but little by little I dis-encumbered myself and it feels so much better.
I watched worry about others kill my mom because it was non-constructive worry about things which she could do nothing. For the first time in years, I am free of that kind of worry esp. late at night when I am trying to go to sleep. Of course, I still have concern and do worry but it is a lot more philosophical and self-nurturing than before. And, I do not feel selfish about it, as I cannot dream of helping anyone else if I cannot take care of myself.
When my kids were teens and my brother was living with us, there were several times I would retreat to our bedroom, put a sign on the door which said, "I am not your mother, your wife, your sister, your cook, your chauffeur. Leave me alone!" It worked every time!
Linn, I am convinced we are passing up making some decent money on ebay. I have an actor friend in Austin, TX who owns his home and lives comfortably selling steadily and consistently on ebay and getting acting bits in America's Most Wanted and other shows. After the holidays, I am going to get serious about being on there all of the time with a few items at a time; ebay that is, not AMW!!
One other way we made a major dent in our stress was simplifying our daily expenses. When we moved, we went without cable tv (I know that is not what a lot of you consider a necessity, but Rog is a TV engineer and needs to see how his station is on cable:-) for several months, bought a home which actually reduced our monthly living expense, and several other things which helped. With a little more money in our account neither one of us feel as stressed. We are now working on cutting back even more, with Rog smoking less, drinking less beer, and I've quit going out for breakfast. I thought I would miss it and it seemed such a small amount each day, but when we added it up, we were spending over $300 per month between the two of us. A few months of that I might get to see my grandkids or we might be able to add on the porch we want!
Anyway, those are some of the things that've worked for us. Your mileage may vary.:-)