Genie - So that's what you're thinkin', eh? :-)

I'm not saying I'm your Santee, but let's assume for argument's sake I had come to the conclusion that I was. Let's also suppose I appropriated some lyrics, from - oh I don't know, David Bowie's Ziggy Stardust album, let's say, in order to support my premise. We can further assume that my extensive research has unearthed not only your true identity, but 'gasp' the fact that you Santa, are, indeed, a woman.

Back to the appropriated lyrics - normally, I'd have no qualms about deconstructing the source material and reconstituting it into something usable for my own nefarious schemes. T'would be a simple thing indeed to blithely replace the gender references in the song from masculine to feminine. But wait! Let us visit the first line of the alleged song - "....lives on his back". Caution flags are raised and warning alarums sounded! (I've always like that spelling of alarums.) For could not offense be taken were that line be changed to "...lives on her back"?

Look at it from my point of view, dear possible Santa. I hardly know you. You may indeed "be outrageous." You may "scream" and you may "bawl", but do you "live on your back"? All the evidence compiled says "no"! To the contrary, all indications point to the truth - that you are generous, kind, tolerant and considerate. Who am I to cast nastertiums upon your character? The spirit of the season and my core value system entwine to forstop me from sullying your good name, and tarnishing my own modest reputation, should it exist, by such a cheap and shoddy maneuver.

Blessings of the season,
You hypothetical Santee