The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #28249 Message #850920
Posted By: JennyO
19-Dec-02 - 11:40 PM
Thread Name: Christmas Parodies I
Subject: Lyr Add: CHRISTMAS HAS BEEN CANCELLED (P Mortimer)
Here's the whole of "CHRISTMAS HAS BEEN CANCELLED"
Tune: Lili Marlene
These words: Paul Mortimer
Christmas has been cancelled, Santa Claus is dead. When the scandal broke He put a bullet through his head. Pinned to his chest they found a note Admitting what - the papers wrote: That he was on the payroll Of Toltoys and K-tel.
It was bigger still than Lockheed Worse than Watergate. Kids throughout the world Called for his head upon a plate The myth was destroyed and in its wake, Old Santy stood there a callous fake. And evidence is mounting That he was C.I.A.
The Church it tried to brand him A charlatan and worse. The Pope said 'Keep off Christmas, mate, We used that number first, As a time when all good Christians sing Of Jesus Christ and cribs and things. Of course it's only bulldust To get the faithful in.'
Further allegations Have made the papers wail, That Santa's love for children Was way beyond the pale, He always liked to give out toys To little girls and little boys. It seems that he was harmless But some don't understand.
Well we can still be jolly And celebrate New Year, And we'll be nice to other folks More than once a year. With no tinsel trees or plastic snow Or jingle bells or yo ho ho's. And no more f***ing reindeer Or little drummer boys.
Repeat first verse
This little gem usually rears its ugly head in the Sydney folk scene around this time of year. First heard Carol Fyfe singing it.