Rick,

As you're aware our children are adopted and Karen and I have been active in adoption issues for many years now. For so long, as was the case with Mitchell's daughter, the "secrecy" of adoption resulted in many of the problems. This is turning around, but not nearly fast enough. Children adopted as infants do far better if they know the truth, in age appropriate terms, as they grow.

I am extremely troubled by the many private adoptions that are handled through attorneys and some other services who provide you with a child for 10 grand, and the kid comes with a guarantee!!! To hell with the birthmother, they think she has no need to know what happens to her child........this subject makes my blood pressure skyrocket!!! We have had over 25 kids in foster care......SEVEN have been the product of failed "infant" adoptions!!!!!! And do you have any idea how many older children and special needs children are waiting? Worse, do you know the odds for success in many of these?

Everyone needs to be involved in the adoptive process...bio parents (both if possible) and their families, adoptive parents and their families, and the CHILD (or children). It takes an unbelievable amount of courage to create an adoptive plan for your baby. It takes special training and a different mindset to be an adoptive parent......it's not the same as being a bio-parent. Damn....I could go on and on with this subject, but you're looking for songs and I don't have any to add, you've already got some good ones, especially Mitchell and Paxton. But adoption does not have to be a tragedy. It can work out well.

Brief story----Michael came to us at about 9 months of age and we worked very hard with his birthmom to reunite. When this was not accomplishable, we gained permanent custody and finalized the adoption just prior to his third birthday. We were the only home Michael ever knew and his birthmom's life was so unstable that she felt it was best too. But she came to us just prior to the adoption and said, "I know I might never get it together, but if I do, do you think I can get Michael back?" I said, "No Becky, but you're welcome to come to our house anytime and visit. You'll always be part of Mike's life and you'll always be part of ours too." Unfortunately we have not seen her since. But we have pictures and good stories for Michael...and perhaps she will come around some day. For all of our sakes, I hope so. Karen's Mom and I'm Dad, but Becky is a part of it too.....We owe her much for giving us a very wonderful little boy, the light of his Daddy's life. Hope she calls some day ... knowing can help her too.

catspaw