This is a very sensitive subject. The Waylon Heron was abducted by Betelgueuseans two years ago, and has not really recovered, partly because while it was away it fell in love with a Betelgueusean birdlike creature, not unlike a basketball with wings and a telephone for a face. It continues to haunt backroads near the American Canadian border near Vermont, and has been instrumental in thwarting at least one terrorist raid on some crossborder liquor store, for which it has received the Congressional Medal of Honour, a meeting with Donald Rumsfeld, and spent the evening at the Bush ranch; none of which have assuaged its loss.

yours, Peter T.