for those who still have not experienced the thrill of being abducted, we offer a New Years special!! For only $19.95 + $6.95 handling, YOU can be swooped up from your own front lawn and take a 1 hour trip in our Latest model saucer!, piloted by Hiram Warfle,of Area 54, Nevada, who got his start testing flivvers for Henry Ford, until HE was abducted and spent 48 years with Q'Zork, of Phssssssssstpok, Andromeda, learning to handle the equipment. He promises a ride you'll never forget (if he can get the chickens out of the vents!)

Sign up early, only a few seats left. Applications taken only in this thread!