Aliens took over a music store in Bucks County, PA and tricked me into buying a hammered dulcimer. I have cataracts, not serious, but enough to mess up my distance judgement, so I can't really tell the difference between the courses of strings running over or under the bridge. It's sitting next to my computer right now, mocking me. This was part of a test to see how easily earthlings could be induced into buying things they don't need, or want.

Another time, I was coerced by aliens into voluntarily driving to their secret base, a bleak, unfriendly area cleverly hidden among a quaint Victorian sea-side resort town on the New Jersey coast, where stern, unsmiling extra-terrestrials with no necks yelled at me for weeks on end, and put me through all kinds of physical and mental hardships with little sleep and BAD food for 18 weeks. When they let me go, I was told me to tell my friends that I was at a police academy. In return for my silence, I was given a good paying job, which led to my purchase of the hammered dulcimer. Now that I think about it, the whole thing is a test to see what stupid things earthlings will do when given enough money. I wish they'd sell me a winning lottery ticket. Then I'd really show them.