I used to start my Maine humor programs with this piece by Ruth Moore.


THE BALLAD OF THE WHITE SEAL MAID
(Ruth Moore)

I once see a whale with a gold tooth, he riz right out of the sea,
And opened his mouth in the morning sun, and showed that tooth to me,
And, once, I was fishin' the deep ground with nigh six pounds of lead,
And, I caught a cod as big as a man, and it had a man's head.

Oh, there ain't no end to what I'd tell,
Once I was well begun;
Like seein' the devil rise from the sea
Instead of the risin' sun;
Like sea snakes lashin' the moonlit sea,
With their terrible lollopin's,
And little mermaids with their diamond eyes
And solid silver fins.

For some have eyes to see strange sights,
And such a one I be,
But, I ain't known as an honest man
      And, nobody harks to me.