Pedantia: Shisto is pooped out by snails that live in the water, and you have to wade or swim to get it as it enters the body throught the skin.

This was posted in rec.music.folk a while back. There were more verses that didn't make it into my file.

ECUMENICAL PLASTIC JESUS

I think nothing could be cuter
Than to see magnetic Buddha
sitting on the dashboard of my car
Other drivers they throw fits
Buddha he just sits and sits
sits there on the dashboard of my car

For safety you can't top the Torah
which explains the huge Menorah
up there on the rooftop of my car
I know I have done my utmost
With my mezuzah on the doorpost
Please touch it as you get into the car

I press firmly on the pedal
protected by a St. Chris medal
fastened to the dashboard of my car
Now I hear he's been demoted
To him we'll no more be devoted
I'll peel him from the dashboard of my car

There's a crystal made of glass
Which creates a blinding flash
Hanging from the mirror of my car
Though it makes it hard to see
It brings the cosmic energy
To focus on the dashboard of my car

With other cars I will not tangle
Long as I have that fine pentagle
riding on the dashboard of my car
My new car it has lots of room
much better than my other broom
ad lib> I'm getting tired, could you drive a spell?

My view ahead is clear to see
Because an atheist that's me
With nothing on the dashboard of my car
On the road my sole protector
Is a good radar detector
Looking through the windshield of my car

On the road I fear no moron
For I have my trusty Koran
Riding in the glove-box of my car
My faith's as solid as can be
I'll make the mountains come to me
Soon I will no longer need the car

Other drivers they should fear me
for I have their effigy
riding on the dashboard of my car
No more in life will they be grinnin'
After I just shove this pin in
They'll wish they'd never bumped into this car

Though in faith we are diverse
In cars our outlook grows perverse
We drive as though our brains was made of tar
Different idols seem to linger
But every driver has one finger
Waving it at every other car

Copyright Greg Bullough

[Then everybody got involved:]

I don't need a plastic Muse - a
Simple and sincere mezuzah's
Better decoration, friend, by far
As I get in my faith is foremost
On display, right on my doorpost
Holding up the framework of my car

I don't care what plans you hatch
Or what icons you attach
Glued upon the dashboard your car
For I know that I am safe when
I am walking on the pavement
Which is statistically less dangerous by far

Whether I pray for dew or rainfall,
I feel safe in any close call,
Driving down the freeway with my foot pressed to the floor.
God is surely glancing my way
And he sees me on the Chai-way.
A mezuzah on my dashboard and another by each door.

My driving skills are mediocre
But my car is thoroughly kosher.
I've got my trunk divided to keep milk and meat apart.
Driving Hanukkah weekday nights,
My menorah's glowing bright
You may overlook the brakelights but they're just minor parts.