In New England, we would have been glad for the soup-tureen-on-the-head as long as we could knock some eye-holes in it. Warm, y'know.
at least once the chowda dries and the little bits of clam fall outta your hair.

Mick, just how many keyboards and monitors have you gone through since you've been here at Mudcat? I mean, half the time it's stuff coming out your nose or eyes, and I don't wanna know what it is the other half. You need to wrap some plastic stuff over the keyboard and monitor. (Don't use aluminumium foil.) Maybe a clear shower curtain and you could just run the garden hose inside to clean up. SPLF could market the idea.