Dayia, you're not "turning into a distracted, bad-tempered down-on-herself loser." You're going through withdrawal. It WILL get better. As long as you don't give in (and that also means giving up if you mess up), you're a winner. A grumpy one, but still a winner. Things will get better. Plan a nice meal out in a smoke free restaurant for your reward. (Better wait until you're not apt to dump a glass of water over someone's head though.)