Well, 'Spaw -- I'm gonna have to take umbrage on Aidan's behalf here, don't ya know -- a cupla corrections to your unique vilifications are cryin' to made:

1) 'brains of a fockin' eggplant' -- as everyone should know, if you're addressing an Irish man from the North, 'fockin' should be spelled 'fookin' to indicate the correct pronunication of the word . . .

and

2) 'even the tinest pissant in the universe has more personality' just doesn't have the true Irish mother's guilt-inducing, '. . . and you don't have the brains God gave an ant, do ya?'

There endeth the lesson ;-)

Oh, and Aidan, I'll call you whatever you want me to; but, you'll always be mo chara chóir to me. (And I'll never call ya late for supper, I promise!).

Le meas is grá, Áine