I have discovered evidence that the hatred between Winston and "Phil" stems from Phil's obsessional infatuation with Winston. This came to a head in the summer when Phil got his ears boxed by the hyphenated fop after an unfortunate incident in Twillinsgate's only adult cinema. Winston dropped all charges after Phil - real name Norman Arthur Puty-Bowells, according to the charge sheet - agreed to stand Winston's dry-cleaning bill. Doing a Clinton on velveteen is normally a rather permanent statement, apparently.