Oh, thank you so much to EVERYONE! That you have enough 'love' for a perfect stranger to take up your valuable time listening and encouraging me just brings me to tears ... of gratitude and happiness that is.

There's so much wisdom and good advice above, I want to respond to each of you personally but I have time constraints right now ... I'll get back to you all later - including the ones who PM'd me. Right now I just want you all to know that everything posted above is so helpful and much appreciated and that I'm taking all your ideas into consideration - deep into my heart so to speak - as I formulate a new 'plan of attack' for myself...

GOOD FOR YOU Colin! Keep it up - we are bigger than this addiction! I know it's true - know it's true! Gonna keep trying now, never give up...

LOL daylia