Marion, in situations like yours I tell both parties, straight up, what the situation is. To the one who offers me the definite gig, if I have made a tentative commitment to someone else, I ask if I can get back to them by, say, the next day--that I will accept their offer if the former offer is not confirmed within that time period. If the original offer is still tentative, I just tell them that I can't (won't) hold the spot for them without a commitment.

The devil is, of course, in the details. What was promised in the origninal negotiations, and by whom? If the conversation was just exploratory, I feel no obligation to 'honor' a 'booking' that really was not one. But I would still call those folks to let them know that it's no longer an option. If I said I'd "save the spot" for them until further notice, I'd still give them first shot at it, provided I can reach them promptly.

EVEN IF I HAVE AN ORAL COMMITMENT to a previous engagement, I would not turn down the 'bird in the hand' unless I had something in writing or had a relationship with the first client such that I could trust them not to cancel on me at the last minute. That's the time for written contracts, even if you don't routinely use them.

Genie