Thanks for that extra information about your circumstance Beccy. Speaking strictly for myself, it would have helped if you had told us in your original post that you are a music teacher for a homeschool coop, because it provides the context that was missing for why you wanted this sort of information for such young children.
Since you originally told us your children are ages 3 and 5, that means one isn't even of legal age for school, and the other would only have been allowed to enroll in kindergarten in most states at age 5, unless they were in an early childhood program that starts children before age 5. So upon reading your first post, I wondered why this emphasis on "schooling" for children who are still as young as yours? I thought to myself, my god, what's the hurry? Is this parent pushing too much too soon?
Plenty of parents are providing their children with a multitude of music opportunities at that age, though I don't know of many music teachers who are teaching their own children to play an instrument quite so young. As I said at the beginning, that isn't something unique to parents who homeschool. Like anyplace else, people in Mudcat really enjoy any opportunity to talk about their children, and offer inexperienced parents ideas, especially if we think they might be headed down a road fraught with future difficulties they can't themselves foresee. That is the value of having input from people older and more experienced than ourselves.
You seem very bright and capable, and determined to give your children the best you can. You and your husband are obviously very talented and gifted musicians, so I doubt your children will suffer any hardship in that department. So maybe taking it easy, not concerning yourself with lessons, and letting things take their natural course is the best route to follow for now, since they are, I assume, attending the music classes you are teaching for the homeschool coop. Considering how intensely you and your husband are involved in music, you might want to consider just following your individual child's lead for a couple of years, and keep the "lessons" and "practicing" out of it.