The Amish love to laugh, especially at themselves and their culture. At almost any gathering there are recitations, either handed down the generations or written for the occasion. My grandfather (1868-1963) wrote many of them and sent them to various friends and relatives. Most of what he wrote was in rhymed verse, whether in English or in dialectical German or in combination.

Here is one that is not in rhyme:

KATERINA AND SOCKERY
Approx. 1925
R. L. Borntrager

Katerina and Sockery

"I see dot most efery pody rites a story about de shickens now days, and I dink I can do dot myself. So I rite all about vat dook blace mit me last summer.

"You know, or if you don't know, den I dells you, dat Katerina ist mine frow, and one day van I koom in de house Katerina she said, Sockery (dot ist mine name) vy don't you dake some egs to de barn for de old plu hen. I dink she wants to sate. So I said I guess I vill. So I went and bicked oot some of de best egs and dook dem out to de barn for de old plu hen vitch had her nest up on de hay mow, about 5 or 6 feet up, and you see I nefer vas very pig up and down, but prety pig all de vay around de middle so I could not reach up, till I vent and got a parrel to stant on.

"So I climed myself on de parrel and van my head rise up to de nest, de old plu hen gave me such a bick dot my face run all ofer mit bloot and van I cherked back dat plasted old parrel had break and I went kershlam in de parrel. I nefer thot I could fit inside a parrel pefore, but dare I vas and it fit so tide I could not get me out efery way.

"And van I see I could not get out efery way I hollered Katerina Katerina. And van she koom and see me stick in de parrel up to my armholes, my face all ofer mit bloot and egs, by golly she just laid on de hay and lafed and lafed till I got so mad I said vy you lay dere and laf like an old vooly, vy don't you come and pull me out. Den she set up and said, vipe off your chin Sockery and bull your vest down. Den she laid back and split herself more dan ever, as mad as I was I thot to myself, Katerina she spakes pretty good inglish but I said to her with my greatest dignitude, Katerina vill you pul me out dis parrel. So she see dot I looked prety red, so she said of cors I vil den she laid me and de parrel on de side and roled me to de house and I dook hold of de door sil and she dook hold of de parrel and puled. But de first pul she made I yelled Dunner and blitzen stop dot by golly, der is nails in de parrel. You see ven I vent in de nails bent down now van I koom out dey stick in me all de vay around.

"Vel to make a short story along, I told Katerina to go and dell neighbor Hansman to bring a hand saw and saw dis parrel all de vay around me off. Vel he koom and almost split himself mit laf too but he rolled me and de parrel ofer and ofer and sawed de parrel all de way around off. Now I got up mit half a parrel stuck up to my armholes, den Katerina she says, Wait Wait, Sockery, till I get a patern of dot new overskirt you have on. But I didn't say a vort. I just got my nife and vitled off de hoops and sling dot confounded old parrel in de vootpile.

"Presently ven I koom in de house Katerina she said, Sockery vy don't you dake some egs to de barn for de old plue hen. Den I said in my deepest tone of voice, Katerina if efer you say dot vort to me anymore I vill get a pil of diforcement from you. She tell to me jiminy grecious but she did not say dot vort to me any more. Now ven I step on a parrel I don't step on it. I get a poy to stant on."

Ebbie