I thought that it would be a fitting thing to call the attention of that beautiful, cultured, talented lady, Ms Penelope Rutledge to our own Mr David Kenningham.

Currently her suitors include the well-born but caddish Mr Winston Wellington-Jones and Oakley a weak but well-meaning member of a group of performers (from Hull9 !) who advocate equestrian cruelty.

Surely such a union should be encouraged for the good of the nation.