Deer Mr. Olesko,
Thet drum in the brochur pitcher wuz lef thar in boberdz keer by sum swarthy gents from Nyew Jersey some years ago. We have not been able to tell whut's in it just yet. Thought it might be coal erl but it don't burn so gud and smells powerful bad. Not to worry tho, az it will be covered with a shower curtain and cud serve az a buffet table fer the big barbecue that's bein' planned fer yore West Ginny adventchur. Az an added sweetner to this deal I'm prepared to offer you a hand built scale model railroad bridge built entirely from 3/32" balsa wood sticks an' capable of supportin' at least twice it's own waite!

Pleze let us know sumwhat in advance of yore disision so we kin kill the fatted calf, or mebbe even a couple of Boberdz possums that he haz caged out in the school bus. He wuz raisin' them things for thar fur but we found out hit was not too PC to do that these days so now they are for eatin' only.

Yerz,
Tweedzrdz