I've never used anything on my bodhrans.The older & smaller of the two that I still have (a Mance Grady drum, from Rhode Island) is an 18" & now something around 20 years old. It travelled all over the U.S., Ireland & a stint on the Hawaiian Islands. I always carried an industrial heat gun & oiled it only with human oil from my hand when playing. My newer drum (maybe 4 yrs. old now), a 20" Grady with tuneable ring & slide bar, gets the same oil treatment. Both goat skins were healthy & hand picked by Mance & from decent & honorable families.
Alison, no giggles here. My 20" is great & if I'm ever in Oz you'd be welcome to a go on it. It's got a bit deeper of a sound than usual but that's what Mance was aiming for knowing my preference. This big drum can also have a gentle, soft or sharp sound even though it's size may be decieiving. It's range is greater than most I've played. Multi rim shots on the outer side & the inner side a well as playing the rim I find a bit better, maybe because the surface isn't as round as on a smaller drum. I'm not a big guy (5'5") so I don't think the petite would have a problem with it, maybe some adjusting & getting used to it's size in the begining is all. Because of the slide bar (see on the Bodhran Page under Grady) using the inner hand for backslaping becomes a style on it's own.

One more comment. If you're going to oil it, stay natural, chemicals &/or beer will eventually break down the skin.

Happy druming, Barry