A man is just about to enter an elegant restaurant, when he sees a sign saying "Ties Are Required". Not wearing a tie, he is stuck. He goes back to his car, and rummages around looking for anything that he might use as a substitute. He finds some jumper cables, and ties them on. When he gets to the entrance, the maitre d' looks at him very suspiciously, and then says: "Well, go on in. Just don't start anything."
Yours, Peter T.