Here are all the words of Enda Kenny's song about Earl Grey tea, from his album "Baker's Dozen"

EARL GREY
(can't stand the stuff - I like to steer clear of grey areas)

Is it perfume? Is it tea?
Whatever it is, it does nothing for me
Should I drink it? Or dab it on?
Can I swap it for a coffee or has all the water gone.

It is hot, it is wet,
It is eau de toilette
Is it from the House of Lipton or Chanel?
I only want a cup of tea, not this stuff you've given me,
If you think I'm going to drink it go to.....

Help me
Someone call a doctor or a nurse,
Call an ambulance I'm poisoned,
And I think it's getting worse.
I only wanted a cup of tea
But I fear that my last mouthful will be the death of me

It is hot, it is wet,
It is eau de toilette
To my mind it is more toilette than eau.
If you want to spoil your day
Add the oil of Earl Grey,
I'm reliably informed it's bergamot.

What a mouthful!
Is it perfume? Is it wee?
Whatever it's supposed to be it doesn't taste like tea.
Should I drink it, or dab it on?
Can I swap it for a coffee or has all the water gone.

It is hot, it is wet,
It is eau de toilette
Is it Twinings? is it Tetley? let me see.
Go ahead and make my day
But please don't make me drink Earl Grey.
All I want is a proper cup of tea.

Enda Kenny (1995)