My High School English teacher had a favorite saying which was illustrated beautifully in my Senior English class by the following story.
    In my High School Senior English class, some mmmty years back, I shall never forget the dramatic reading of his science essay by one of our first-string football players. We were reminiscing about this great moment in the annals of creative writing at a reunion a few years back when the former English Teacher pulled the original our of his pocket & asked our special football player to read it. He lumbered up to the podium, much as he did all those years back, and began to read, "Mah ess-ayee iz 'bout, uh, you know, SEXyullee tranzMUtated disEEzuz. Therz baysicullee 3 kindz: one, Syphilliusus; two: Gonuhherruh; an three: Vayee Dayee. . . .(hey, we took state in Oklahoma 3 years in a row with this guy!! I remember, as I was in the band.)
          Oh yes, the teacher's muddled metaphor: "You may lead a football player into English class, but you can't teach him English." (sincere apologies to our smarter brother jocks)