N...back on meds? Why did you go off of them? Depression is related to seratonin levels in the brain. Medication (and exercise) help to increase the level and you feel better, focus better, function better. Why stop? If side effects are an issue, work with your doctor to change. But stopping seems pretty self defeating.

Therapy worked for me. It took five years and I wish I had had it when I was twenty. But I look back to the time when I was depressed, even suicidal, and wonder at how simple it all was and how hard I made it for myself.

Try not to shut yourself away from people who care about you. If you don't want to sing, then come encourage others in their efforts. Or play that incredibly beautiful bargain guitar. See you in Portsmouth?