The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #56323   Message #879898
Posted By: Sandra in Sydney
01-Feb-03 - 08:14 AM
Thread Name: Worst Country Western Title
Subject: Lyr Add: THE COUNTRY SONG (Pearson & Thompson)
I have a list somewhere giving more titles - when I find it, I'll post it, but in the meantime enjoy this effort by 2 of Australia's funniest songwriters who have used titles of country songs to create a whole new song!

They are both excellent singers, & their act is a treat - silly stuff that gets me laughing till I cry, silly songs, mostly similarly titled: The (something) Song & serious songs too. Martin also works as a comedian & could get laughs from a recital of entries in the phone book. Last year Hrothgar put on a workshop of Stan Rogers songs at the National Folk festival in Canberra & John & Martin were part of the lineup.

c. Martin Pearson & John Thompson

Mama, get the hammer, there's a fly on Papa's head.
I've been roped and thrown by Jesus in the Holy Ghost corral.
I fell in a pile of you and got love all over me,
But who bit the wart off Grandma's nose?

Chorus: I wanna whip your cow; I wanna whip your cow,
'Cause you just can't play a sad song on a banjo, anyhow.
You done tore out my heart and you stomped that sucker flat.
You made toothpicks from the timbers of my heart.

If the jukebox took teardrops, I'd cry all night long.
You stuck my heart in an old tin can and shot it off a log.
Well, I guess if you can't feel it, then it ain't really there,
And the last word in lonesome is "me."

Repeat chorus

If I can't be number one in your life, number two on you.
I can't get over you, 'til you get out from under him.
I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here,
So I flushed you down the toilet of my heart.

Repeat chorus until tired, light blue touch paper and retire.