rock chick, I am sorry it didn't turn out better, but I've also no doubt it was the right thing to do. Not knowing can cause all kinds of anxiety and wondering and it is always best to have some kind of closure, imo. The act of actually searching, as you've done for your mum, speaks to her heart, I am sure. What a loving thing to have done for her in her older years. The more we can do for our parents, in those ways, the better, I think. It's a help to them as they get closer to their own mortality and want to make peace or lay old ghosts to rest. Thanks so much, to you and your mom, for sharing this with us.

kat