A sweet little old lady is stopped for speeding.
Sweet Little Old Lady: "Is there a problem, officer?"
Cop: "Ma'am, you were speeding."
Sweet Little Old Lady: "Oh! I see."
Cop: "May I see your driver's license, please?"
Sweet Little Old Lady: "I'd give it to you, but I don't have one."
Cop: "Don't have one?"
Sweet Little Old Lady: "Lost it four times for drunk driving."
Cop: "I see. May I see your vehicle registration papers, please?"
Sweet Little Old Lady: "I can't do that."
Cop: "Why not?"
Sweet Little Old Lady: "I stole this car."
Cop: "Stole it?"
Sweet Little Old Lady: "Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner."
Cop: "You what?"
Sweet Little Old Lady: "His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk, if you want to see."
The cop looks at the sweet little old lady and slowly backs away to his car and calls for backup. Within minutes, five police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.
Cop 2: "Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle, please?"
The sweet little old lady steps out of her vehicle.
Sweet Little Old Lady: "Is there a problem, sir?"
Cop 2: "One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner."
Sweet Little Old Lady: "Murdered the owner?"
Cop 2: "Yes. Could you open the trunk of your car, please?"
The sweet little old lady opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Cop 2: "Is this your car, ma'am?"
Sweet Little Old Lady: "Yes, here are the registration papers."
Cop 2: "One of my officers says that you do not have a driver's license."
The sweet little old lady digs into her handbag, pulls out a clutch purse, and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the driver's license. He looks puzzled.
Cop 2: "Thank you, ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner."
Sweet Little Old Lady: "Bet you the lying S.O.B. told you I was speeding, too!"