And a few more quotes from "Red Dwarf", on the subject of emergencies and their classification:

Kryten : I suggest switching from blue alert to red alert.
Cat : Forget red alert, let go up all the way to brown alert!
Kryten : There's no such thing as brown alert.
Cat : You won't be saying that in a minute. Just don't say I didn't alert you!

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Holly [The ship's computer] : Rude alert! Rude alert! An electrical fire has knocked out my voice recognition unicycle! Many Wurlitzers are missing from my database! Abandon shop! This is not a daffodil. Repeat: This is not a daffodil!
Rimmer : Well, thankfully Holly's unaffected.

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Rimmer : We, um, should be making tracks.
Cassandra [A very annoying alien ship's computer] : I'm afraid that's not going to happen. The bulkhead's just given way and we're shipping water at a thousand gallons a second. All of the Canaries [Roughly equivalent to "Away Team"] will be dead within one hour except for Rimmer...
Rimmer : YES !
Cassandra : ...who will be dead in twenty minutes.