I once sent a Valentines card that said on the front:

I got an Ugly Old Witch to put a spell on this Valentines card so that it can only be opened by a beautiful and chaste young girl.

Inside it said: Or another Ugly Old Witch.

The lady I sent it to could't claim to be overly chaste - so it's probably a good job that I didn't sign it - Whoops, I've just remembered, she's on Mudcat these days - hope she doesn't read this thread.