"Ugly as a mud fence."
"Butt ugly."
"So crooked they gonna hafta screw 'im in the ground when he dies."
In addition to "fixin' to go to to work" there's "commence to workin'".
"The whole loblolly mess" (my mother-in-law, a wealth of funny Southern expressions)
My Virginia Grandma says, "Can you carry me to my Doctor's office?"
"Colder 'n a well-digger's butt in Alaska".
"'Bout yay high" (holding out a hand to indicate height).
"If I ain't purty enough, there's plenty of other places they can look".
Sharon