A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis...

Upon a day, Adam and Eve didst complaineth unto the Lord, "Lord, when we were in the garden, you walked with us every day. Now we do not see you any more. We are lonesome here, and it is difficult for us to remember how much you love us."

And God answered, "Harken then unto Me! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will know that you are loved by me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourselves. And the sign of this love will be the wagging of its tail."

And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam and Eve. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and Eve and he wagged his tail as 'twas foretold.

But Adam didst complain further, "Lord, I have already used up my store of names in naming all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

And God didst sigh and say, "Then harken yet again, man. Because I have created this animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."

And Dog lived with Adam and Eve and was a companion to them and loved them. And they were comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was happy with his new name and did wag his tail in love, as 'twas foretold.

But in the fullness of time, later that same week, it came to pass that the archangel Phil came unto the Lord and said, "Lord, behold how Adam and Eve have become filled with pride. They strut and preen like peacocks and they believe they are worthy of adoration, even as gods themselves. Dog has indeed taught them that they are loved, but perhaps too well."

And God said, "Well, it's your turn to give a harken, now, Phil! For, lo, I will create for them a companion who will be with them forever and who will see them as they are. The companion will remind them of their limitations, so they will know that they are not always worthy of adoration."

And God created another new animal to be a companion to Adam and Eve. And this new animal would not obey them. And when Adam and Eve gazed into its eyes, they were reminded that they were not the supreme beings. And Eve was allergic and did sneeze mightily in its presence, but for fear of the Lord's displeasure, the did not send the creature away, but kept it near them. And they named the animal "Cat" in imitation of the sound it made in coughing up its hairballs in their presence.

And thus did Adam and Eve learn humility. And they were greatly improved.

And God was pleased.

And Dog was happy.

And Cat gaveth not a shit one way or t'other.