I was glad to find this thread, having been recently separated myself.

Many of the things mentioned above were personal freedom issues in my last relationship which had a lot to do with our breakup. Peg mentioned that the ideal would be to be in a relationship where one is free to do a lot of these things, and I believed that it was possible.

I had been single by choice for several years before, during which time I did a lot of work on myself. I did not want to keep on attracting the abusive relationships I had experienced in the past. I really believed I had hit the jackpot this time, but once we were living together it became apparent that this person was a control freak. My whole way of living was put under scrutiny, judged and found wanting. Eventually, after nearly 3 years, my self-respect would not allow me to stay in this situation any more, so I ended it. It was quite painful, because I still love this person, but it had to be done. We used to perform together too, so not doing this any more has also been a loss.

Now I am really appreciating some of the freedoms of being single, particularly not having to justify how I spend my time, being able to spread out in the queen size bed, just going somewhere when I feel like it and eating when I feel like it, and not having to put up with snide comments about how I do things or how I choose to manage my money.

So I swing between feeling sad and having a good cry, and feeling really relaxed and happy. My friends have been a great help. Being on Mudcat makes me happy too. This thread is helping me focus on all the positive things. Thanks, Naemanson. You'll be all right, and so will I. And the music will come back, I promise!

Jenny