I found him too late I think. You think that know what love is, or rather that it isn't all that it is cracked up to be, and you settle down with someone that you get on with, maybe even raise a family, but all the time something isn't quite right. The closeness you yearn for is missing. Yet you think this is what it must be like for everyone - that fairytale love is just for fairytales.

Then twenty years later, when you weren't even looking for him/her, true love comes at you. Maybe out of the blue. Maybe someone you'd know for years. Maybe a crisis brings you together. Anyway, now you know what the love songs are all about, you know a closeness and sharing that you thought just simply did not exist. You are so comforatble with each other. And making love is suddenly just that. And you realise that you never actually hahmade love before. What was hidden, the wonderful experience of true caring passionate love becomes clear. This is it. Your first (& last?) love. Trouble is, it's now 20 or 30 years since you made your 'first choice'. You don't hate your existing partners, you don't want to hurt them. they've done nothing wrong. But leaving your partners to be together would meant that they were left without enough money to live anywhere half decent. They would suffer.

So you meet in secret and others would call this an "affair". A mid-life crisis maybe. Your crime? You found the person you truely love but you found them years too late. And you both suffer, but it becomes clearer and clearer that this love is not going to go away. The months roll by, and still its stonger/deeper; you feel so comfortable in each other's company - but how to be together? If only you'd met each other first - got the right roll of the dice first time. But life and love are not that simple. It's going to be horrible when it all comes out. People will despise us. But we did not look for this; we resisted for years until it was impossible, then discovered we both felt the same 'spark'. We hate the lies and deceit, but at least only we are suffering. Still, we would never wish away this precious gift of a love more tender than we'd ever dare dream of...