I have an old Marine Band A harp that has been in my possession for 12 years. It has seen me through two marriages, and the birth of my daughter. It has sung a serenade for six newly married couples. It has screamed for joy at eleven Halloween parties. I left it behind at one gig, and drove 10 miles at the break to fetch it. I have coaxed laughter and tears from it. It has become an extension of my soul. It can be yours for only $999.97.

LEJ

PS. Number 4 draw reed is stuck on the piece of shit.