my landscaping supervisor was famous for some real off-color ones
i.e.
"i wouldn't use that as a shield in a shit fight"
"i'd rather eat the southbound end of a northbound menstruating skunk"
"you look like you been shot at and missed, shit at and hit."
"speak now or forever hold your piss."
and the classic, if somebody had a big dumb smile, the were grinning,
"like a cat eatin' shit out of a hairbrush"
??????
makes no sense to me, but the guy was a laugh a minute when he wasn't yelling at yeh.