SHORTNESS OF SIGHT
(Hughie Jones)

CHORUS
Oh pity, oh pity, oh pity my plight
And all those who suffer from shortness of sight

On a stage or a platform I never am frightened
No matter how much the audience is lightened
I just stand there and go into attack
I can never see more than seven rows back

CHORUS

At sport I am no go and never will be
I couldn't play football so they made me referee
I saw all the fouls and the sly offside passes
'Til a big centre-forward came smashed in my glasses

CHORUS

Last week I noticed more than most
I'd written a letter that I wanted to post
When I got to the box and I looked at it close
T'was a little fat lady in a straight cut red coat

CHORUS

Whistling at girls I did in my leisure
But now I must find alternative pleasure
I whistled a bird, she had hair long and yella
But it cost me a thumping 'cos he was a fella

CHORUS

The ring road round town with its sodium lights
When viewed from a distance is a wonderful sight
Lots of tall lamp-posts in neat little rows
They look like chrysanthemums growing on poles

CHORUS x 2